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Volume VIII, Issue I
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January 2003
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Are There Natural Dominants and Submissives? Thank you to my friend Lady "London Calling" for this question. Yes, there are truly "natural submissives and natural Dominants." Many of these folks actually do NOT know the D/s scene and do not recognize anything kinky about their lives, but they have arranged things so that in their lives they often either have much authority and responsibility, or they get to serve others in different ways. The mix becomes complex when other human variables are added in. A sadist may be a submissive too, a control freak may be a submissive too, a Dominant may also be a pain slut for getting pain. We Homo saps are often way to complicated for our own good. Whether or not the scene knowledgeable Dominant or submissive is truly born that way or not I cannot say. I have been around long enough to know that some aspects may be genetically passed on, but I cannot prove my belief. I do know for a fact that Dominance and submission are "naturally" passed on within families by the emotional and physical environments in which children are reared, if not genetically. Not every child responds the same way in the same environment to the same stimulus, so I feel there is a genetic component, but whether this is for passing on the traits or the attraction to tendencies is something I have no clue about. Someone sensitive to the charismatic power of others will note that some folks have a Dominant charisma, some a submissive charisma, and that some may switch between these. Often a Dominant will attract submissives and the submissive side of switches, while a submissive may attract Dominants and the Dominant side of switches. Thank You my friend, excellent question! |
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| Ode to Julie Newmar O wondrous Catwoman on the prowl, encased in shiny
leather. |
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Quick Kinky Tip #1 When using leather dressing on brightly colored (red, purple, green etc.) or two-tone leather it should only ever be applied VERY sparingly or not at all since it will darken the leather noticeably and decrease the contrast in color in two-toned work. That darkening will get progressivly worse with additional applications of dressing. Instead it is recommended to use one of the sprays intended for leather furniture since this will not discolor the leather. Thanks to Reese for the tip! Quick Kinky Tip #2 To get wax out of plush carpeting, first scrape up what you can with a stiff implement like a knife or spatula. Next vacuum up what you can, if a vacuum cleaner is available. Spray the wax stain with freon gum remover, or cover with dry ice for a few moments. The wax becomes cold and fragile, and can be broken out of the carpet with your spatula. If vacuum cleaner is not available (like in a motel) and you need to get the lil' bits cleaned up, use the sticky side of your trusty duct tape to pick up the pieces (and discard them in a remote trash can, not your room wastebasket). Of course the application of the traditional wood handled wire carpet beater to the subbie doing the cleaning can also be effective. Some commercial spot removers will remove wax from a low nap carpet, but usually freezing does it better. To remove wax from hard surfaces, dissolve it with rubbing alcohol. Thanks to Phil for the tip! |
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And lest we forget why we’re here, a reminder:
Thanks to Michele for the lovely picture! |
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Fundraiser Reminder: Next month we’ll be having a fundraiser for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) under the name Capitol Punishment! If you have anything to donate to our silent auction contact anyone on the Satyricon board. |
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A soft sound A soft sound, Thanks to Doug for the lovely poem |
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The Early History Yes I do know a lot about this, partly because I am older and partly because it began well before it should have for me. I got into BD/SM in 1950 as a baby about 4 years old. A family of girls near to my parents were babysitters, and they taught me to obey them and Worship them. They ranged in age from my age to their 20's and I think there were close to a dozen girls. I was taught to Dominate the girl my age and to submit to all the others. Those under 10 mostly would just poke & tease & soon lose interest, those over 16 would usually just "advise" their sisters, but those 11 to about 15 were extremely interested in sex play, torturing the male, and forcing worship. They made me simulate sex even though I was way too little to understand anything. They would tease me, tie me, hurt me, as they liked. I learned to adore them orally any time of the month long before I ever heard of a period, so that has always been natural for me. They told me if EVER i told on them no one would believe me, and I'd get in terrible trouble. They took the girl my age to our yard one day they were not babysitting, made us simulate sex in the back yard, and went to tell my Mother I was being bad. I learned I HAD to obey them after Mom got through with me, & she told them to spank me any time I was bad when they babysat.This went on from before age 4 til age 8, when we found a house in a different town. Been kinky ever since, but I have had a fetish for consensuality too. I need and love both sides. Whichever I've had least of lately is usually what I feel most need for. When I reached puberty this was a problem, because "NO" always meant no to me, even as a flirty tease. In the pre-computer days you met folks by placing and answering blind box ads in swinger's magazines. There were few clubs or groups, and many rip-offs. The swinger's magazines censored "kinky" stuff (We are a Family Magazine, lol). You had to use innuendo and read between the lines. You also had to accept what the partners you found liked, because it was a small world and you could get thrown out of it. I learned well to serve couples, including M/F, M/M and F/F couples. Once I understood I was not the only switch things got pretty interesting. This is a little bit of my background. I also was kind of a teacher to many on the old Classic Prodigy BD/SM area before it folded in 1999, and did a lot of writing, advising and mentoring. |
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Layered Relationships I'll be happy to speak of my knowledge of layered relationships. Of course this is not something that is right for everyone, we are all unique persons. Thus the BD/SM relationship from any point of view is wrong for many folks and right for many others. I see that bi, straight, gay, lesbian and polyamorous relationships may be right for some folks and not right for others. Some can switch with the same partner. Some can switch NEVER. Some can switch only with different people. It is very possible in a polyamorous D/s relationship to have layered levels of power if the partners are open to this. A "family" or "household" may consist of multiple submissives with one Dominant partner. This seems fairly common. There usually will be a "pecking order" among the submissives, where some have more power than others, whether or not all sexually interact with each other. Functionally a relationship where more tha one Dominant is present but one is in overall control is similar to the previous example. The labeling is different (folks will always pick the labels they feel are right). A Mistress may "own" a Master who is Dominant to all present but Her, for example. Submissives could be submissive to both (and in a "pecking order of submissives"), or may in fact be individually submissive to only one of the Dominants (no matter what the sexual interactions may be). There are many possible combinations of Dominance and submission possible in a multi-partner household. No rule will ever cover all possibilities. Often the power levels in such a relationship will be VERY confusing to outside observers, though all may be perfectly natural to the members of the relationship. A way to see how this works in other mammals is to read scientific reasearch on the dominance relationships within wolf packs. An observer may be very surprised about who is in charge of who, yet it all seems perfectly natural to the wolves. If peope have a limit of only switching with different partners, and polyamory is also a limit, they are stuck with not all parts of their nature being satisfied. This often results in "serial monogamy", where a person has a partner that meets one set of needs, becomes dissatisfied, finds someone to satisfy other needs and ends the first relationship. Usually the pattern repeats after a period of time. " Serial monogamy" is pretty frequent in the D/s community as well as in the BLGTG community. It is nearly the norm these days in the "straight het" community, though this is not openly admitted. The current divorce rate shows the facts. " Serial monogamy" may in fact be more common in the "vanilla" community than among kinky folk because deep levels of communication between partners seems far less common among "vanilla" folks. Thus there is less chance of understanding and meeting needs. As always, the observations expressed are my personal observations, and your milage may vary. |
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A Friendly Note from your Editor I just wanted to thank everyone who contributed material for this newsletter and want to encourage anyone and everyone to consider contributing themselves. Our newsletter was “offline” for a few months due to a little personnel shakeup in the Satyricon board. Hopefully things are back to normal now (if that’s possible in this group ;-). So please consider submitting (!) your fiction, poetry, tips and tricks, essays, cartoons, photographs or drawings, or anything else you think our Members might be interested in. No contribution is too great or too small! We’d also be interested in hearing from anyone interested in submitting regularly (ahem) – whether as a column, taking questions from the peanut gallery, pointing out interesting sites on the Internet, writing up scene reports or events they’ve attended – pretty much anything you think would be of interest to your fellow members. |
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Worth a Quick Laugh: What would you do for a Klondike bar? |
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